Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
