I bet he comes in French.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
