i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
