I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
