Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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