dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Your penis caused this!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
