I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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