I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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