I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
