he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
