I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
