his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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