no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i think im in europe. pls send help
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
