youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
