I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
