it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
