this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
