I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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