this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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