oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my being single is dangerous.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize