i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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