OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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