Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
