This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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