Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
