Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize