Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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