so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
