Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
