whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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