True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You made out with two different species that night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
