this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
