'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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