That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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