More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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