NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
