I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So. Much. Porn.
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