Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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