My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
