Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize