i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize