i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You dont lie about slip and slides
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize