i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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