Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize