I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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