i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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