My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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