Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
