I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm at about main and main street
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
