i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
