i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
