D3 body, D1 cock
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
