what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I can't turn off my feet"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize