She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
