probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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