just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
