Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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