I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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