i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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