Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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