Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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