I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
